Ideal

This Sunday, our Pastor completed a series called "Modern Family." I missed most of it (I can admit we've been bad about going lately), but this week's message was one that hit very close to home for me. Brother John chose passages in Genesis, Romans and 1 Corinthians, and talked about how our society as a whole has perverted the view of the family, and what "ideal" family and marital relationships should look like.

I'm not going to skirt around this -- he very clearly called out homosexuality as sinful, and I agree with him. Now don't get me wrong, he also called out many other sins -- adultery, lust, etc.  But that's not what struck me this week. The more he talked about marriage and family, the more I realized that I haven't been fulfilling my place in my home.

My attitude has been horrible. My moods have been unpredictable. I've been greedy and selfish. And on top of all of that, I manage to justify it by the time of the month, my work schedule, and my health.

"I worked all day, I don't want to cook dinner."

"I've been a showsite, I don't want to get up for church."

"I'm taking medicine that makes me feel angry, so I can lash out at my husband whenever I want."

Umm, yeah, that's not really how this whole marriage/Godly woman thing is supposed to work. AT ALL.

I'm sure you've all read Proverbs 31. It talks about the woman who fears the Lord. If you want to read the whole thing, you can check it out here.

Obviously I've recently had a big fat FAIL in these areas. Like, all of them. Seriously.

So here's the deal. God and I, we're working on it. And I'm putting it out here, because, well, I don't like to look like a failure in public, so this is motivation for me.

I'm setting mini-goals for the week, that will hopefully build up and turn into habits that are good for my marriage, my home, my health, and most importantly my relationship with God. What I'm realizing is that I'm not that "undomestic." I just have a bad attitude, and I need to work on it.  By not honoring my husband, I'm being disobedient to God.

This week, I'm focusing on my idleness. Verse 27 says that the woman who fears the Lord doesn't eat the bread of idleness. Lately, I've been buying the bread of idleness in bulk from the warehouse store, and gorging on it 5 times a day.

So here's this week's goals:

• Make up the bed daily and pray for Steven while I do it.
• Do a Bible Study with Steven at least 3 times this week.
• Eat dinner at the table with no TV once this week.
• Cook at least three meals this week.
• Do a small "cleaning" task daily, to maintain my home. (Today I dusted!)

I think I've rambled on far long enough. Let's see how this goes...

For the Love of the Game

Most people who know my family well knew my Aunt April. She was a funny, happy, godly woman who loved baseball more than anyone I knew. In fact, she took my sister and me to our first game at the Astrodome in Houston when we were kids. I don’t remember who won or even who they played, but I will always remember the fun, and the passion she had for the game and for her team.

April was a huge baseball fan, and was fiercely loyal to the hometown team wherever she lived. April had been living outside of St. Louis for years, and was a huge Cardinals fan. When the Cardinals played the Boston Red Sox in the World Series when I was in college, I rooted for the Red Sox just to instigate trouble. She watched almost every game, and could always tell you how well (or poorly) her team had played. She made my level of fandom look laughable. She lived in the DFW area for awhile when I was younger, and during that time she was, of course, a Rangers fan.

April died earlier this year, very suddenly, and I’ll admit it knocked the wind out of me.
I handle tragedy and death very well outwardly. I’m really good at being the strong one. I learned the art form last year when we lost my mother-in-law. Being the strong one is how I get through the motions of death, of funerals, of my family’s heartbreak. It keeps me busy, and leaves me very little time to get caught up in my own emotions. I’m the one who can call the florist, write the obituary, make lunch, whatever has to be done.

Steven and I have gotten into the habit of buying a Texas Rangers discount thing every year. It costs $40 and gets you a certain number of free games and then a few buy one get ones, etc. We bought it this year as usual, but after April died, I couldn’t make myself go. For me, baseball’s biggest fan was gone, and things just weren’t ever going to be the same.

Different members of my family always joked that it would make the perfect World Series for us. Our Texas Rangers versus the St. Louis Cardinals.

Well this year it’s happening. April is finally getting her World Series, and no matter who wins or loses, I’ll be happy because they’re both April’s team. I know she’s moved on to much better things than baseball, but I have to think that she just can’t wait for Wednesday.

So Go Rangers, Go Cardinals. Be stars. For the love of the game, and for one very loved Aunt.

He is Mighty to Save

I'm sure most praise and worship music lovers know the song I'm referencing in the title. It is by Hillsong:



For the first time tonight, I looked up the scripture that references our GOD as mighty to save. I found a passage from Zephaniah that really spoke to me.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness;
He will quiet you by His love;
He will exult over you with loud singing.
(Zephaniah 3:17 - ESV)

I love the song, but my favorite part of this verse isn't that phrase - although I am thankful that my God is mighty enough to save me. What stands out to me is something else: "He will quiet you by His love."

He can move mountains.

He can calm the raging storm.

He is mighty to save me not just from my enemies, but also from my sin.

He will quiet me with His love.