Poker Face

A poker face is something I don't have.

My mother always told me that I wear my heart on my sleeve. And I do. If I get in trouble, I cry. If Steven and I argue, I cry. If I get frustrated, angry, or exhausted, I cry. No matter how many deep breaths I take, I can't manage to convey my strongest emotions without choking back tears.

I wish I had a better poker face, but at least no one can accuse me of not being honest with my feelings.

Am I the only person with this problem? How do you express yourself without just breaking down?

"Be Anxious For Nothing"

I know there are lots of commands in the Bible that people struggle with. But Philippians 4:6 is at the top of my list. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." 

I think this could easily be the number one place where I am not just becoming my mother; I'm literally 100%, her exact replica. We're both worriers. Well that and stress eaters, but that's another post all together.

I worry about everything, from the insignificant to the major.

My dad is having surgery today, well in less than 15 minutes, and I can't stop the constant thoughts in my head. Worry. Fear. Every possibility, even those that are most ridiculous.

So I'm working on replacing the fears and the worry with a reminder of faith, and that I have a truly amazing God. I'm working on singing this in my head every time I start to worry:

Have faith in God when your pathway is lonely.
He sees and knows all the way you have trod;
Never alone are the least of His children;

Have faith in God, have faith in God.

Have faith in God when your prayers are unanswered,

Your earnest plea He will never forget;

Wait on the lord, trust His word and be patient,

Have faith in God. He'll answer yet.

Have faith in God in your pain and your sorrow,

His heart is touched with your grief and despair;

Cast all your cares and your burdens upon Him,

And leave them there, oh, leave them there.

Have faith in God though all else fall about you;

Have faith in God, He provides for His own:

He cannot fail though all kingdoms shall perish.

He rules. He reigns upon His throne.

Have faith in God, He's on His throne,

Have faith in God, He watches over His own;

He cannot fail, He must prevail,

Have faith in God, Have faith in God.

This morning pray for me, pray for my dad, pray for my family. Pray for us to claim that verse, and truly be anxious for nothing, and give it up to God.